Just Wandering

[Smilies]

Almira wandered towards the lake. Happiness had overcome her. She'd gotten the beta position, she'd fulfilled her dreams, and regret no longer ruined her life. It was easier now, though every once in a while she'd wonder what life would've been like as an alphess in her home land. But she had to forget about that. There was no point in lingering on the past, for there was no way that it could be fixed.

As she reached the dappled lake, she lowered her head, lapping up the cool liquid. As it was getting warmer, the ice was beginning to melt and it was easier to drink. When she quenched her thirst, she lifted her head and wondered where her partner would be. Maybe doing beta work of his own. Part of her wanted to go look for him, so they could talk more about the position. But maybe he was doing his work.

So she lowered herself to the ground and stared out over the lake. For once in her life, she finally felt as if she had a purpose. She felt happy and was looking forward to the future. Working with Josiah would be great. They got along so well and part of her thought they could overcome any challenge that got in their way.

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[[Midnight]]

Satine was the complete opposite of Almira. She could just tell by the look on the brown female's face as she herself padded over to the lake, just a little ways around the bend. Instead of taking a drink, she watched Almira curiously.
The new Beta, huh? Boy, she couldn't look more fulfilled if she wanted to.
She raised a brow speculatively. What was so great about getting a higher position? It wasn't like she had won the Alpha position. She still got bossed around and she still wouldn't get treated with respect. At least not from Satine. A rank is only great if you use it to get what you want.
So what make Almira look so content about herself? She wanted to know why it was worth fighting for. She padded closer to her and didn't bother to submit herself. She only did that to the top-top dogs.

"Hey," she said boredly, sitting down just a yard or two away. She eyed Almira and finally bent down to take a quick sip of the cold water below.
"I heard you got the Beta position. Congratulations on the brutal winning."
She licked her chops and watched for her reaction.

[Smilies]

Ha, if this female only knew. It didn't have anything to do with the respect. This whole position, it was because of her past. She felt as if she owed herself something, at least this much, this beta position. She needed to prove herself, needed to tell the world that she was worth something, that she wasn't just mindless hunting machine. Her head turned to look at Satine, but she hardly took notice in the lack of respect. Maybe it was because she was too pumped up to let this one snotty female rain on her parade. Or maybe because she just didn't care.

"Hey," she replied, voice just as flat, emotionless as Satine's had been. She'd seen this female around before. In the Clearing, she thought. With Marilyn, and Hood, and a few others. Or maybe that wasn't her, though she did recognize her from somewhere. "Thanks," she said, voice flat, but the gratitude was sincere. What was she here for? To ruin her day, just like any Falling Moon wold would do. Right now, she felt like that was impossible. "What brings you here?" she asked, voicing her thoughts aloud.

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[[Midnight]]

Satine smiled, glancing down to her left at the murky water.
"Well, I was here for a drink, and then I spotted you. I was just curious about what it feels like to one step closer to the top."
She tossed her ears forward, not sure what kind of an answer to expect, and listened to the swirling trees and bushes in the background. You, know, maybe she should have tried out for Beta? Then at least she could boss the lesser ones around. She'd hear a smaller amount of smack, too.
"So, have you used your powers to the full yet? Boss anyone around?"
It was odd, there were so many things that Satine used to do that she gave up on. For one, she'd normally be giving Almira a hard time and possibly even taunting her, if the time seemed right. But she had been changing the past few weeks. She shifted her weight on her legs uncomfortably as she thought of it.

[Smilies]

Almira shrugged. "It feels good," she said, unsure as to what else to say. She wasn't exactly about to tell the female that she felt like she'd succeeded in something that could've been handed to her a long time ago, and reveal her past. So she figured that was a good enough explanation for it. "Feels like I have a purpose," she muttered, also staring down into the murky water.

"No," she said simply. Why did everyone think that getting a position was just about the power. You weren't a good leader unless others felt you were. You wouldn't get that kind of reaction among other wolves you bossed around constantly just because you felt like it or were too lazy to do your own work. When the time came, she'd use her powers, but she wouldn't abuse them.

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[[Midnight]]

"I don't know how you do it," Satine said, slightly exasperated. She blinked her brown eyes thoughtfully. "I don't know anybody does it. I would never want to be a leader or even have a higher position. Pretty soon everyone will want you to do things. Be responsible. I'm just happy when I'm left alone."
She rolled her eyes, letting her tail fall into the lake. Her creamy fur soaked it up immediately.
"I mean, maybe I'd be ambitious if I was in Dancing Stars. Nobody bites your tail off over there unless you're attacking their alpha or murdering one of their deltas."
She was referring to Eagle, the wolf who had been slaughtered by Duke himself. There was a smirk on her face and she looked at Almira's expression carefully. She didn't know much about her except that she had the gumption to fight for beta position.
"So now that you're second in command, you might have to do some slaughtering, too. Duke would have to be crazy to back down from the fight now after putting up all that hullabaloo."

[Smilies]

Almira sighed and shrugged. Satine made a good point. Responsibility was something, but that was only a small price to pay for what you got in return. Power, respect from other and for yourself. "Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, their own opinions. Ours just happen to be different," she said bluntly. If only Satine knew the real reason behind her wanting a position so badly. She began to wonder if something like that hadn't have happened in her past, would she still want the position?

Almira smirked at the slaughtering part. "Doesn't bother me," she said, a bit of cockiness in her voice. She wouldn't mind tearing her claws and teeth into a disrespectful pack member or a Dancing Star wolf. "Wait, what fight?" she questioned curiously. Maybe she should meet up with the Alphas and Josiah, and discuss a few things. Like what powers the betas had, what was going on in the pack that they should know about.

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[[Midnight]]

Satine raised a brow. Maybe she had been too literal.
"Not what fight. The fight. The fight that better happen soon. Otherwise I'm not sure what I would call Falling Moon anymore. A bunch of crap-talking wolves."
She shook her head and began to trod into the water until she was shoulder-deep, and she looked back at Almira with the same, cocky expression.
"I don't think you and I are all that different, Almira. I may be an inauspicious person , but... What are you? Don't take this the wrong way. After all, we've both done our share of killing. Haven't we?" she questioned, realizing how personal the question might get. But if Almira really was the Falling Moon beta she had become, she wouldn't mind admitting that she was guilty of murder. She just admitted she was fine with slaughtering, anyways.

And nobody is just born a natural killer.

[Smilies]

There was obviously a lot she didn't know about, and she wasn't about to let this go. As the new Beta was her responsibility to figure out what was going on in the pack, and in their rival pack as well. This would help her be more vigilant if there were any attacks. She knew that the Dancing Star wolves had gotten their lands taken away by Falling Moon. Maybe they were planning to try and win back their lands. Maybe that was what she was talking about. "Could you elaborate, please?" she asked, voice edgy and sharp, demanding almost. She hated when others beat around the bush. Just get to the point so they could move on.

"Of course," Almira said evenly, no shame hiding in her voice. In the wild it was every wolf for themself. Sometimes you just had to kill to get you're way, and she'd done that. She had to have killed. When she was a loner things weren't exactly easy. Usually she'd come upon a wolf who'd tracked down a rabbit, or some kind of prey. She'd fight to get the food. Prey wasn't exactly abundant, especially in the winter. Killing was her way of surviving. "What are you getting at?" she asked suspiciously, wishing she'd stop giving off stupid little hints and get to the point.

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[[Midnight]]

Satine sighed irratably; Almira was no fun. This entire pack was no fun. They were so sensative about every little thing. Had to know every little detail. And they couldn't ever follow what it was Satine was trying to say. She had to get straight to the point.
"I'm not getting at anything," she responded just as sharply. Her face had hardened from her amused look. "Don't be stupid. Falling Moon will lose its shine if we end up getting scared away from finishing the job. The truth is, the entire Dancing Stars should be dead right now and we all know that. They survived winter. I don't think Duke or Anevay expected that. That is my point. Dancing Stars has been horribly underestimated."
She turned away, looking back at the rippling water. She was wrong. She and Almira were complete opposites. Satine felt like she'd never find someone else who shared the same kind of wit, sins, and the heavy burdens of the past as she did.
But the truth was, Satine knew she had to get out of Falling Moon someday. Maybe she should become a loner? Maybe she should go back home. Where she came from. Visit old graves and try to let the guilt pass away.

For now, though, she was stuck amusing Falling Moon as they lived without any other purpose besides ruling the world.

[Smilies]

She pondered what the female had said for a moment, thinking it through. "We should go back to war, and kill them," she muttered, only meaning it as a slight question, though it was mostly a thought. "And if we did that, some of our own pack members could die. And I think it's too soon to risk that when we've just gotten the land," she remarked, shaking her head. Maybe it would be a smart thing to notify the wolves of Falling Moon to prepare for battle. Just prepare. Then if necessary, they'd go into the war killing off the Dancing Stars. "You even said we'd underestimated them. Maybe we're doing that now, thinking we can wipe them off the face the earth that easily." She pushed herself to her feet, but didn't bother to move off.

This female was beginning to irk her. A glint in her eye said, "Is there anything else you need to babble on about?" Obviously she had no one to talk to, no one to understand her and share her opinions, and apparently she still didn't. She didn't seem happy here, and it was easy to tell. She just seemed so distant from the pack, though maybe Almira was wrong. Maybe that was just her personality. But she just seemed truly unhappy, like nothing was going for her. "Y'know, if you don't like it here, why not leave? I mean, no one's making you stay," she commented, voice flat.

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[[Midnight]]

Satine snorted, keeping up her cool. But she felt like she had just been slapped in the face, and anyone keen enough could tell it. She looked away with a slightly more sullen face.
"If I told you the reason why I still stay here, you wouldn't understand them."
She turned down and glanced at her paws bitterly, memories of the past swirling in her head. So many emotions took over her that for a second, she thought she would just collapse to the ground right there.
No, Almira wouldn't understand.
"I belong here whether I like it or not," Satine said matter-of-factly, emotionless, casting her gaze back to Almira's face with her dark-brown eyes.

[Smilies]

Almira could see the female's hurt expression and a smug grin slided onto her face. To begin with, she hadn't meant to offend the female, but now she took pride in it. "You're probably right. Only wolves who have been in a certain situation can understand it completely," she commented. "But that doesn't mean I won't understand at least a bit of it," she added with a sigh, really caring less if the female decided to tell her or not. She wasn't exactly eager to dive into a sob story, but part of the job of being beta was getting to know and understand the pack's views, and histories.

She sighed, knowing that she'd be unable to give any sort of comment on that statement if she didn't know where the she-wolf was coming from, but she decided to say something anyway. "In my opinion, you belong where ever you feel like belonging," she said, highly doubting that statement would help the female in anyway, but she wasn't one to not share her opinion. "No one owns you, or can tell you what to do. So go where your heart takes you." It was amazing how the conversation had somehow lead up to this. Her expression was flat, showing no concern or curiousity.

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[[Midnight]]

Satine sent a strange look to Almira, unreadable. Somehow she found herself both agreeing and disagreeing with Almira, but the disagreement had outweighed anything else. She had conversations like this before.
"Hm. Not quite true. The world owns you. Your own body owns you. And you can only go as far as your lifespan can take you. We're all slaves, if you have a mind deep enough to think about it hard and long."
She shook her head in a 'tsk-tsk' manner, glancing up at a random cloud. Oh, how she loved to preach. A little too much, she knew.
"Besides, the heart is treacherous, isn't it? If you follow your heart it's a fact that you're bound to end up in the biggest hell of your life. Like Falling Moon, for instance." She smiled toothily at her own outwardness. "Because this is where my heart led me."
All signs of her pain was gone, and she was back to her normal, sacarstic, care-free Satine.
And that was when life was good in its own rights.

"But you've got a good point, Almira. After all, this couldn't be an imperfect world if we all had a perfect sense of direction."

[Smilies]

Almira rolled her eyes, but said nothing to Satine's need to upstage her. "I didn't mean physically," she mumbled with irritation hinted in her voice. "And in a way, you just made my point," she told her, starting up again. "Y'know, we have short lives. We only live for so long. Why torture yourself by being somewhere you don't want to be?" she questioned, though already knowing the answer. There was no point. In her opinion, you should live the life the way you want to live it, not the way others want you to live. "It's your life, Satine. Do what you want with it," she muttered, wondering why this was so hard to get.

She sighed and said nothing while she pondered the female's next words. "Yes, but now you're heart is leading you somewhere else, giving you a hint. Why don't you take it? And just think. When you came here, it was exactly what you wanted to do at the time," she said. She had an urge to chase Satine out of the lands for the female's own good, and because she didn't like her trashing the pack that she'd come to love and take power over. There was no point in discussing something that the female was so stubbornly convinced of and so she pushed herself to all fours. "No one wants to put up with a bitchy wolf who doesn't want to be here," she said. "So, do us, and you a favor and leave."

With that, she trotted off, disappearing into the woods.

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